What gorgeous babies we have at 3 months!

They are starting to fill out, and starting to giggle and coo. They have such bright and alert eyes, as they start to really take in all their surroundings. Some are grasping toys, or batting mobiles. Their heads are much more steady, and some can bounce with their legs.

This is also a time of change, as those babies on routines start to stretch their feeds, and their waketimes, as they move right out of their newborn phase, and towards their very alert stage.

So what might their routines look like at 3 months?

Some babies have moved onto 4 hours by 3 months, some are still on 3, and some are ready to stretch. The easiest way to stretch from 3 to 4 hours, is to spend a week, or several, on 3 1/2 hours. This gives them time to adjust to slightly longer stretches, and possibly one less feed.

I am giving a sample routine for a baby on a 3 1/2 hour routine.

Of course these times might vary from family to family, so alter the times to fit in with your own family.

1. ★7.00 - feed (breast/bottle), then waketime
   

2. ★8.oo - sleep
   

3. ★10.30 - feed (breast/bottle), then waketime
   

4. ★11.30 - sleep
   

5. ★2.00 - feed (breast/bottle) then waketime
   

6. ★3.00 - sleep
   

7. ★5.30 - feed(breast/bottle), then waketime
   

8. ★6.30 - sleep
   

9. ★9.00 - bath, feed (breast/bottle), then bed
   

10. ★11.00 - before bed feed if needed
    

Next I will look at some of those important areas: feedtime, waketime, sleeptime.

Feedtime.

Many mums are going well with their breastfeeding at the 3 month mark. Baby is growing, and feeding well, and sleeping is often going quite well too.

However, it is always helpful to check a growth chart - even recording your baby's wet/dirty nappies, as well as weight/height gain, frequency of feeds, length of feed times and such. This should give you a fair indication of how he is going with the routine you have been using.

A visit to your Clinic Sister or Baby Health Nurse is also helpful to reassure you that things are progressing normally.

If you are breastfeeding, you will probably notice a significant change in the feel of your breasts at the 3 month mark. Due to hormonal changes, your breasts might no longer feel full and uncomfortable during the day, where just a few weeks ago, they did. Many mums worry at this point that they have lost their milk. For many mums, however, that is often not the case.

A happy baby that is sleeping and gaining weight is your best indicator for milk, rather than the fullness of your breasts.

Some mums wonder about the number of feeds/ day they should be giving their baby.

This will depend on how far apart his feeds are. If he is happy on 3 hours, then just give him his feeds through the day, and any he may wake for during the night. Likewise with 3 1/2 or 4 hourly feeds.

As long as he is happy, sleeping and gaining weight, then the number of feeds will vary from baby to baby. Some need 6-7 feeds at this age (or sometimes even more), but some are fine on 5, and sometimes 4 (if they are on 4 hourly, and sleeping 12 hours at night). All this is fine, if things are going well.

Bottle fed babies also will often have fewer feeds, as you can measure their intake a little better.

It is also fine to have most of the feeds at regular, say, 3 1/2 hourly through the day, but then a couple of feeds closer together in the evening (sometimes known as 'cluster feeding'). This may be because your milk supply drops a little towards the end of the day, especially if you have had a busy day.

A common question also deals with dropping that last feed.

If your baby is struggling to wake for his last feed (around the 10.30 - 11 pm mark), and sleeping through till the first morning feed without any problem, then you may consider dropping that last feed.

This happens by gradually feeding them around 15 minutes earlier each night. Sometimes you can just feed each day earlier, and sometimes you might need to stop at a certain point, and allow him to 'catch up'. This would be true if he started waking earlier in the morning.

Once your last 2 feeds are around 1 1/2 - 2 hours apart, and your waketime is melting into the next feed, then you can probably try dropping that feed, and popping him straight to bed. This is one time when you might give him a longer waketime to help that process (eg 1 1/2 hours rather than 1 hour).

Occasionally mums ask about starting solids at this early age. I think it is too early for that! If your baby is hungry, then perhaps look at increasing your milk supply to keep up with him, or adding in extra feeds.

More on that in Breastfeeding Tips.

Waketime.

If you are trying to keep a good routine with your baby, then it is really important to be aware of the length of his waketime. If your waketime is too long, then your baby will struggle with his sleeps, as he will be over tired. Overtired babies don't feed very well, so a cycle can be created. Adjusting his waketime is often a simple and effective way of sorting out some sleep issues.

If you are feeding on a 3 or 3 1/2 hourly routine, that it is best to keep your waketime to 1 hour.  If you have already started to stretch to 4 hourly, then waketime will begin to increase slightly from now on, up to perhaps the 1 1/4 mark.

How will your baby spend his waketime at this age?

He will probably enjoy watching the activity around him, so popping him somewhere where he can see you is helpful. He will spend some time plying with a toy, or watching a mobile, and some time interacting with those around him. Time on the floor, and tummy is also a good idea. They love going for walks, having baths and having cuddles.

Again, there is no need to over excite your little baby! Too much stimulation can tire them easily, and lead to unsettled sleeps, so moderation!

Sleeptime.

After their feed, waketime and play, the next thing to do is go to bed.

Many babies of this age still prefer to be wrapped tightly to go to sleep. It does help settle them better, as they don't wake themselves up with their own arms. After an hour or so of waketime, a wrap and good night cuddle, it's off to bed.

Most babies are happy to go to sleep, and many 3 month olds are fairly settled, and don't generally wake during their sleeps (this will come later...).

If your baby does wake unexpectedly in the middle of a sleep, give them a couple of minutes to see if they will settle themselves. If they don't, and are protesting loudly, it's best to check they aren't hungry. If they are hungry, feed them, and then consider why they might be hungry earlier than usual.

It is not uncommon for a 3 month old to go through a brief growth spurt.

This might require an extra feed or 2 for a few days, until your milk supply catches up again.

It shouldn't go on for weeks, though. If your baby remains unsettled for longer than a week, it could be because your milk supply needs to build up further.

It could also mean that baby has become used to getting up early, and is more driven by habit than food. If this is the case, then it might be time to use some resettling techniques .

If your baby starts waking earlier in the morning, it could also be a sign of hunger.

However, one of the symptoms of over tiredness is waking early in the morning, as well as through the night (and not being hungry). It is important that baby gets practice at good sleeps throughout the day, so that he will sleep through his sleep cycles during the night as well.

Frequently Asked Questions...

My baby is 13 weeks old, and I am feeding 3 1/2 - 4 hourly. All is going well, and I am keeping him up 2 hours of waketime. My problem is that he just doesn’t seem happy - is this normal?

I suspect your baby is very tired and needs much more sleep!

Even though they seem to be sleeping for so much of the day at this age, this is very normal - and necessary. Don’t worry - he will wake up in a couple of months, and you will see much more of him :)

In the meantime, a waketime of one hour is plenty - even less (around 45 minutes or so) if they are on 3 hourly feeds.

My baby is 3 months old. He was sleeping quite well at night a few weeks ago, but he is now waking several times during the night. He isn’t interested in a feed! I am feeding him between 3 and 4 hourly through the day - depending on when he wakes.

Apart from hunger issues, another common reason for babies of this age to wake in the night, after sleeping a few weeks ago, is inconsistent day routine. For some babies, the feeding pattern needs to be much more predictable than ‘between 3 and 4 hourly, depending on when he wakes’. For some babies, it needs to 3 hourly, or 4 hourly, but not an inconsistent mix between the two.

I suggest that you pick a routine (3, 3 1/2 or 4 hourly), and try very hard to stick to it as consistently as possibly for a few days, to see if that helps things at night. It will mean waking him if he is still asleep at feed time. It will mean consistent waketimes, that are not too long (45-60 minutes depending on his feed times).

It will also mean careful resettling at night - waiting 10 minutes or so to see if he settles, then going in, picking him up and resettling him, before putting him down for another 15 minutes or so, until he falls asleep. If he is still not settling after an hour or more, then feel free to feed him, and try again tomorrow night :)

My baby is 3 months old. He is doing well most of the time, with occasional moments of unsettledness. However, I am tired! How am I going to keep this up for months?

Well done on doing so well with your baby. Welcome to motherhood! Even though your baby is doing well, and sleeping at night, it is still tiring. There is no escaping this! You are a mother now, and that involves 24 hour, round the clock care. Thankfully, your baby is settled and sleeps well, and will continue to do so. But for the next, well, twenty years, you will be on duty as mum. They will wake with sickness, wet beds, bad dreams, bad days, and a dozen other reasons for years to come. A flexible routine will reduce the unpredictability of sleeplessness, but it cannot be eliminated.

Make sure you get plenty of rest when you can, and look after your own physical needs. Accept support from your family and friends, and learn to enjoy this precious new life that God has given you.