9 month olds are such a joy!

Some are crawling, and a few even walking. Many are eating solids, and experiencing the high chair, For many parents, this is the first month of needing to be more direct in regards to the word "No!". It is a time of many questions, as our little ones start to become more people-like, and blossom in personality.

Over the years I have answered many questions about 9 month olds. It does seem to be a time of rapid change, and new challenges. In this section, I am attempting to cover many of the main issues that parents have with their babies at this age. While I cannot cover every variation on behaviour, or circumstance that may arise, I will try to look at the routine of a 9 month old, as well as the 3 main areas of their day: feedtime ,waketime and sleeptime.

Here is a sample routine for a 9 month old:

1. ★7am - wake, (breast/bottle) feed, breakfast, playpen etc.
   

2. ★10am - nap
   

3. ★11.30/12 pm - lunch (incl. breast/bottle), play etc
   

4. ★2 - 4 pm - nap
   

5. ★5 pm dinner (incl. breast/bottle)
   

6. ★(6 - 6.30pm - nap?)
   

7. ★7pm - bath, before bed breast/bottle feed, play
   

8. ★7.30/8 pm - bed
   

Of course, this can be varied to suit your own lifestyle, but it gives you something to start with.

I'll go through the 3 main activities of the day: feedtime, waketime and sleeptime, and give you some info on each.

Feedtime.

You may have been feeding 4 hourly (or even more frequent) up till now. If you haven't started stretching those feed times, then now is a good time. Your baby will most likely be on 3 regular mealtimes by around 12 months.

While you are still breastfeeding, always nurse first before any solids. This is important to maintain your milk supply, so that you can continue to breastfeed for longer. Then give solid meal soon after (rather than an hour or 2 later).

If you find your milk supply dropping, there are several things you can do. Increase the feeds for a time (perhaps a week or so), until your supply builds up again - adding a feed in the afternoon ("afternoon tea"), evening, and/or before sleeps. Some mums find pumping after a feed, and storing the expressed milk into a bottle to give after the next breastfeed helpful.

Make sure that you are drinking lots of water, and consuming enough calories to maintain your milk supply, as well as maintaining you! Exercise is great - too much will jeopardise your supply, though, so be wise in how much exercise you do.

If your baby still has trouble swallowing, or doesn't seem interested in solid food, but is thriving on breastmilk, then they may just not be ready just yet. Wait a week or 2 and try again - they will get the idea when they are ready. Almost all babies will start solids by 10 or 11 months (and from 4-6 months), but a small few are happy to wait until 12 months.

Try to avoid snacking - keep meals confined to high chair times. Occasional snacks, however, especially while out and about, are fine! 

You can offer water in a sippy cup, especially just before naps.

There are many places available to find suitable food for babies of this age, but basically, cereal and fruit for breakfast, vegetables/crackers and cheese/ fruit/yoghurt for lunch, and vegetables (and maybe some meat) for dinner are common meals.

If you are breastfeeding, and your baby doesn't want to eat much after their breastfeed, then don't panic! Most breastfed babies are getting most of their nutritional requirements from your milk, and so solid food is more of a bonus. If they are gaining weight, and well, then they just don't need extra food yet. They will in time!

High chair issues can become more difficult at this age. Screaming, back arching, food refusal (when they previously were happy to eat), throwing food or spoons etc are all behaviours which appear at around 9 months for many families. Most of these behaviours can be associated with self control. Teaching them to hold the sides of the tray, or to keep their hands in their lap, or flat on tray, during mealtime is a way to avoid some of these problems. I don't allow my babies to feed themselves at this age - they just don't have the dexterity to do it effectively. Besides, once you give them the spoon to feed themselves with, it is mighty hard to take it back! Ask me how I know this :)

Some folks believe in allowing their babies to experience different textures through food. I don't subscribe to that practice! If I wish my babies to experience different textures, I will use occasions apart from mealtimes to do that. Goop, playdough, water etc are all fun, and when experienced in a controlled way, can be beneficial (providing they don't eat it!). Mealtimes in our house, however, are for eating. I expect my older children to have good table manners. I would like to start going down that track, rather then have to go back and retrain later. A 9 month old is not going to have perfect table manners, nor understand why she would need to. However, I can start with a few basic rules, like no playing in our food and throwing it around!

When babies of this age scream, arch, or throw things, we have always said in a stern, sad voice "oh dear. Back to your cot", and placed them in their cot for a few minutes until they are ready to come back and try again (with a "Good girl! Happy face!") without the tantrum. Usually a few minutes of isolation helps to get things under control, but sometimes they do persist. If you have tried it several times, but with no improvement, then perhaps it is time to finish up mealtime.

Some families even start to teach their babies to sign from around 9 months onwards. Many babies don't spontaneously sign until a little later, but consistency will help them get it earlier. Usually a sign for 'please', 'thankyou' and 'all done' are enough to get started on, and can help with some of those communication frustrations that they can have, especially in the high chair.

Waketime.

You can see that the waketimes are often stretching longer at this age (so morning nap starts later), and that feed times are starting to stretch also (no longer strict 4 hours - moving towards lining up feeds with regular mealtimes). If your baby is not quite ready to stretch one of those feeds yet, that's ok. Try again in a couple of weeks.

Stimulation is good, but too much will unsettle her sleeps.

Try to have a balance between quiet and active play. 

The 3 main activities are playing alone (like playpen time), playing side by side near mum (eg on floor while mum cooks or such - sometimes called a 'playcentre'), and playing with mummy (singing, stories, etc). 

There will need to be a  balance between the 3. 

Playpen time will give her a good go at the first, and then try to balance between the other 2. 

Playpen time 2x day is helpful - around 45-60 minutes after breakfast, then 20-30 minutes in afternoon - between bath and dinner or dinner and last feed is often a good time. Provide a few toys and a book or 2 for her to play with, resisting the urge to constantly replace the toys during a playpen session. Also, too many toys is a little overwhelming. Some babies prefer a mixture of different toys (stacking cups, rattle, car, dolly etc), while others prefer a small group of the same type of thing (container of little cars, blocks etc). If this is your first go at playpen time, then start 5 or 10 minutes, and gradually increase the time. 

It is not uncommon to hit a wall with babies at this age - your happy playpen baby is suddenly unhappy in the playpen! The world has suddenly become so very interesting to them, and they often decide they would prefer to be out there in it, rather than confined. I have pushed on through this time - usually only a week or 2, knowing that the benefits of playpen time makes it worthwhile. Shortening the playpen time (even to only 5 or 10 minutes if necessary), helps, followed be a cheerful "pack up time - good boy/girl!" Using a tape of songs during this time can also help - they quickly learn when that last song is.

Expensive toys are unnecessary. Babies are quite happy with Tupperware, pegs, and other household items. Go ahead and let Grandma buy them expensive toys!

Rotating activities, keeping a routine for the day, and avoiding too much 'roaming around' time is helpful when they become even more mobile, to stop them getting into too much mischief. If you have an early walker, then it is ok to gate off rooms to keep them confined while you cook dinner and such. Just because they CAN walk, doesn't mean they have to go wherever they want to! They will get lots of opportunities to practice their walking as they get bigger. For now, keeping them a little more restricted is fine.

Even using the highchair for some play activities is fine for part of their waketime (e.g. when you are cooking dinner) to keep them from wandering off, or even into the kitchen when you are busy. You could pop them in the highchair with a toy or book, and bring them close so they can watch you.

Blanket Time is another tool that some mums use to train their little ones to play happily in a small area. This is useful if you are needing your baby to play quietly at church, soccer or somewhere else, without wandering off. Place a blanket on the floor, with baby in the middle with  a few toys. As they crawl out of the blanket space, say 'no' in a stern voice and place her back in the centre of the blanket. Repeat this a few times , and then leave it for another time. Start with 5 minutes, and gradually increase to 20 minutes, or however long you need. It is helpful to begin blanket training before your baby is walking!

Sleeptime.

At 9 months, most babies are having 2x 1 1/2 or 2 hour sleeps (morning and afternoon). Also, many babies are still unable to make it through to bed time without a cat nap in the late afternoon. This is a nap that used to be 2 hours, but will naturally shorten to 20 minutes, and then not at all (usually around 10 months).

Sometimes babies at this age wake during their sleeptime, whimper or cry out, but then go back to sleep with little more fussing. This is fine. If they persist in fussing, you can go in and resettle, but then leave to allow them to go back to sleep again on their own.

Patting is a common method parents use to put their babies to sleep. It seems nice and easy when they are little babies, but from now onwards - not fun! 

If you have been patting up to now, or using another method that involves staying with your baby until they fall asleep, then now is good to rethink your getting-to-sleep methods! It will help to spend a few days working hard on this - probably those days when you are home rather than out and about, or at work (it might be tricky for a few days). 

It's ok to give her a yummy cuddle and good night kisses before sleeps, but then pop her into bed and say "night night' (or whatever). 

Leave the room and give her 5-10 minutes to try to settle. 

Then go in and lie her down with your stern voice saying "no more play time. It's sleep time. Go to sleep", and leave the room.

Try again every 15 minutes or so - same thing. 

The first few days, I would expect very little sleep, and much crying! 

However, consistency is the key, and most parents see encouraging results in the first few days and up to a week.

You want her to learn to fall asleep on her own, or at least remain happily settled in her cot for a sleep time. 

This is a learned skill, and she will learn it if given the opportunity. 

The first time you give in, she will know that you will give in if she persists, so hang in there!

Weaning.

Some mums are wanting to wean at around this age, because they are needing to go to work, or wanting to fall pregnant, illness, family upheaval, or for some other reason. If your baby has been a great feeder up to now, then this can be a little traumatic - for mum, as well as baby!

Many mums find it easier to go straight to a sippy cup, rather than a bottle. At 9 months, most babies are able to manage a sippy cup quite well. Formula is recommended until around 12 months.

It is usually best to drop the feeds one at a time, to prevent engorgement and mastitis. The midday feed is often the easiest to drop first, followed by the late afternoon feed. The last feed to go can be either the last night feed, or the first feed.

Some mums keep one or two feeds for quite some time, and this can often work quite well. This might mean feeding in the morning and/or evening, while giving formula (or cow's milk if over 12 months) throughout the day. I have managed to do this with most of my children for a few months before losing my milk (usually due to another baby coming!).

Of course, you don't have to wean at 9 months if you don't want to, and all is going well! Feeding past 12 months is recommended by the World Health Organisation. So if all is going well, continue to enjoy this special time with your baby!

Frequently Asked Questions...

When do we start dropping milk feeds with our 10 month old, and is it a problem if she is really keen on the bottles at the moment?  She is on formula and having 4-5 bottles of 150 – 200ml each.  We tried dropping the late ‘dreamfeed’ she has always had at about 10-1030pm, but she seems to either wake for it screaming and won’t resettle herself in the early hours of the morning. .

4-5 feeds at this age is still ok.

You could try waking her for that last feed 15 minutes earlier each night, until she is no longer needing it (much like dropping that last breastfeed).

You would be sure to offer her 200 mls at each feed, so that you know she will not get less milk if she does drop that feed.

I would certainly try feeding her earlier than 10pm, and see if if she still goes through till morning ok.

Usually, they can go to 3 milk feeds (plus meals and morning/afternoon tea) after around 12 months. Some will go a little longer. Sometimes breastfed babies will keep 4-5 feeds past 12 months to maintain mum's milk supply for longer, but bottle fed babies will usually not need that many feeds past 12 months.

My 10 month old baby has learned to stand and crawl around the cot. Until now, a sleeping bag has seemed to stop her doing this, but doesn’t stop her any more. She keeps standing and screaming at the end of the cot, and is quite hard to resettle. Do we still leave her the 15 minutes crying and then go in and try and make her lie down?

A tricky problem at this age of newly-standing, and wanting to be more mobile. Fortunately, it is usually fairly short lived.

Sometimes people find that it is easier to stop putting them in sleeping bags, so that they can get down from a standing position easier, but then others find it easier to keep them in . Perhaps it is worth trying a few different things to see which works for you.

Leaving her to cry 15 minutes, when you know that this is the problem is maybe too long in this case. I might try 5 minutes, then go in in and lay her down down and say in a stern voice, "No, it's sleep time". (or something like that). I would expect her to continue trying to stand for a little longer, but she will eventually stop.

Sometimes they have trouble getting down, and it can be helpful practising getting down from a standing position during her playtime.

Hang in there! Hopefully this stage won't last too much longer!