Here is a section for those Frequently Asked Questions!
Hopefully, any questions that are not answered elsewhere (and even some that are), might be answered here. I will add more as they come up, and I find the time :)
My baby is only sleeping for half his sleeptime. He doesn't seem hungry - should I just get him up until the next feed?
Probably the most asked question!
Basically, there are a number of questions for parents to ask themselves when this begins to happen.
How old is baby? If baby is only tiny, then probably feeding them is a good start. If baby is bigger, and is hungry, then there may be other things to consider.
Is this a feeding/hunger problem, or a sleep/routine problem?
If you suspect a feeding/hunger problem, then feed baby earlier than expected, but have a think as to why baby is waking hungry earlier than previously. Is he going through a growth spurt? Has your milk supply dropped? If you suspect a drop in supply, then there are some tips for building up supply here.
If he is going through a growth spurt, or he has been unwell, or for some other reason just needs some extra food, then feed him early for a few days until he is no longer unusually hungry, and then you can get back to a routine that is suiting everyone.
If he is older than around 6 months, it may be time to consider introducing solids.
If you suspect a sleeping/routine problem, then you will probably find that your baby is quite happy to get up after a short sleep, and doesn't really want a full feed, but after a short time, or after the next feed, he becomes tired and grumpy. He may also start waking in the night, unable to resettle. Sometimes they fall asleep straight after the next feed, and then wake early again, thus starting a tricky cycle of sleep/play/feed, instead of feed/play/sleep.
If this is the case, then it is worth looking at some other things that might be happening in his day. Are his waketimes too long? The most common reason (aside from hunger, and needing an extra feed to cope with a growth spurt) for unsettled babies (especially around the 4 month mark) is long waketimes. Overstimulation really doesn't produce a happy, well sleeping baby! Putting him to bed earlier is a start at allowing him some longer sleep times.
Likewise, if you have been putting him to bed soon after a feed, then increase his waketimes a little, until things get sorted out again.
Are your days too busy? If you are out and about too often in the week, then this can also be unsettling for a young baby.
Are there other things happening in your home? Mother-in-law staying? Just moved house? Baby and/or family members sick? Something else unusual? All these big events impact baby, and it does often come out in baby being unable to resettle during a sleeptime.
If you are sure that this is a sleep/routine issue, then the best place to start is resettling.
My 10 month old baby has learned to stand and crawl around the cot. Until now, a sleeping bag has seemed to stop her doing this, but doesn’t stop her any more. She keeps standing and screaming at the end of the cot, and is quite hard to resettle. Do we still leave her the 15 minutes crying and then go in and try and make her lie down?
A tricky problem at this age of newly-standing, and wanting to be more mobile. Fortunately, it is usually fairly short lived.
Sometimes people find that it is easier to stop putting them in sleeping bags, so that they can get down from a standing position easier, but then others find it easier to keep them in . Perhaps it is worth trying a few different things to see which works for you.
Leaving her to cry 15 minutes, when you know that this is the problem is maybe too long in this case. I might try 5 minutes, then go in in and lay her down down and say in a stern voice, "No, it's sleep time". (or something like that). I would expect her to continue trying to stand for a little longer, but she will eventually stop.
Sometimes they have trouble getting down, and it can be helpful practising getting down from a standing position during her playtime.
Hang in there! Hopefully this stage won't last too much longer!
When do we start dropping milk feeds with our 10 month old, and is it a problem if she is really keen on the bottles at the moment? She is on formula and having 4-5 bottles of 150 – 200ml each. We tried dropping the late ‘dreamfeed’ she has always had at about 10-1030pm, but she seems to either wake for it screaming and won’t resettle herself in the early hours of the morning. .
4-5 feeds at this age is still ok.
You could try waking her for that last feed 15 minutes earlier each night, until she is no longer needing it (much like dropping that last breastfeed).
You would be sure to offer her 200 mls at each feed, so that you know she will not get less milk if she does drop that feed.
I would certainly try feeding her earlier than 10pm, and see if if she still goes through till morning ok.
Usually, they can go to 3 milk feeds (plus meals and morning/afternoon tea) after around 12 months. Some will go a little longer. Sometimes breastfed babies will keep 4-5 feeds past 12 months to maintain mum's milk supply for longer, but bottle fed babies will usually not need that many feeds past 12 months.
Any tips for what we do to adjust her to our time when daylight saving comes? She’s waking at the crack of dawn already!
Basically, it may happen gradually. Try stretching her 15 minutes /day, or so, until she is happy with the new time.
It will sort itself out in a couple of weeks. Being prepared for a couple of transition weeks, is half the worry gone.
When returning home (after no sleep), what strategies do you use to calm him back down enough to get him to sleep because he's so overtired???
If baby is so overtired that he can't calm down to sleep after being out, then some quiet cuddling, rocking, singing etc can be quite useful. Also, depending on his age, and what his routine is like, a breastfeed or at least a cup/bottle of water offered, can be something that helps them settle. As long as it is not happening everyday, then this time of resettling is fine. Keep it calm, quiet, in his room. As he starts to get heavy, then pop him in bed for his nap.
If you are out and about often, and this is a daily problem, then a rethink of your activities might also be helpful. While mums sometimes struggle to stay home, babies prefer it!
My 12 month old is on a bottle. When do I wean him to a cup, and how do I do that?
Most 12 month olds are quite capable of moving to a sippy cup from a bottle.
The advantages to changing now are that he will quickly get used to a cup, and forget the bottle, and it is much easier to clean.
The disadvantages to sticking with a bottle for longer are that baby becomes more attached to the bottle, making it harder to wean onto cup, and the bottle can be used more for comfort than drink, leading to bottles being carried around the house, and left in beds. This has been shown to contribute to tooth decay, as baby goes to sleep with sugary drink in his mouth.
So how to wean? Basically similar to weaning from the breast - one feed at a time. Start with lunch, then afternoon/dinner, and leaving morning or last feed to last. Just give baby milk in his sippy cup in the highchair with his meal. Keep bottles out of sight if baby is particularly attached to them.
Try to avoid putting baby to bed with a bottle, or other routines that will leave him wanting his bottle - like snuggles in bed. If you want him on the cup, then best to avoid temptation to think of bottle!
Once he has gone without bottle for a day or two, then matter-of-factly refuse any mention of it. The desire for bottle will pass quicker for baby than for mum!
My 14 month old is still having 2 breastfeeds /day (morning and night), but I am wanting to wean her, in order to boost my fertility so that I can conceive our next baby. She is very attached to these feeds - how do I wean her?
Well done on feeding for 14 months :)
Weaning your baby so that you can concentrate on regaining fertility is going to take some determination on your part. Do you want to wean, or would you rather breastfeed?
If you want to wean, then I suggest dropping one of your feeds, and replacing it with a sippy cup of milk (possible given to baby by dad), for 1 week or so, and then dropping the next feed.
It can help to only offer sippy cup of milk in the high chair, with meals (breakfast or dinner), so that she doesn’t associate the milk with a comfortable cuddle and breastfeed.
Once you have moved to a sippy cup, then she should quickly get used to the idea - probably quicker than mum!
My 6 week old is so sleepy, I can’t keep him awake after a feed. But then he wakes up during his nap and won't settle!
It is so very important to keep them awake during and after feeds. If you have tried a wet washer, undressing and tickling face, then perhaps placing him flat on the floor, partly undressed might help. While being held, some of them like to snuggle, which just keeps sending them back to sleep, but if they are flat on the floor, they are much more likely to wake up. This is why they often wake up for nappy changes.
If they have been in the habit of snoozing after feeds, and waking during naps, it will take a few days of work to get them back on track, but stick with it! Once they are staying awake for their 45-60 minutes of total waketime, and sleeping until the next feed, it will be worth the effort!
My five month old is sleeping well at night, but regularly waking early for feeds during the day. I am giving him a one hour waketime.
At five months, it is probably time to start extending his waketime. He is more alert now, and needing that extra time awake, to work off some energy. Try giving him a waketime of 1 1/2 hours or so (perhaps even a little longer at some cycles), and see if he sleeps through to the next feed better.
My baby is now 14 months. Sometimes he seems to want two sleeps, but he is often only sleeping for one sleep. But he is so unhappy! Also, he is throwing his blanket out of the cot. What do I do??
Oh dear! Those 14 month blues!
It is really common to have mucked up day sleeps at around this age. I always just put them to bed for the normal time. If they sleep great, if not, oh well, they get up at the right time (sometimes a little earlier) and move on. Usually quite grumpily until they give in and sleep again. Which they usually do eventually - so hang in there!
This is a time to watch some things during the day - keep a tight routine for activities (the more free roaming time, the more sleep time battles), make sure you are being consistent with instruction and discipline ("no, don't touch", "Come to Mummy" etc), and not giving in to his demands (wanting a drink/food/toy etc) so that he feels like he is in charge. If he thinks he is in charge during the day, he will be more likely to be difficult at sleep time (when you are making him do something he doesn't want to do).
You can use your stern voice when going in to resettle him ("You must lie down, it is sleep time"), and try to avoid picking up his blanket everytime it is dropped - it is possibly only a test for you to see how long until you come in and pick it up!
My little one is now 15 months. We have had lots of disruptions in our household, and the wheels have fallen off! We have lost our routine, our day sleeps, and our happy baby - where do we start to get him back?
My thoughts are that the first thing to do is sit down and write out a plan for the day. Something to aim for.Here is a suggestion for a 15/16 month old - feel free to alter times and such to suit your own home.
7.am - up and breakfast. Breastfeed/bottle with mummy, then to the highchair. I recommend putting him straight into the highchair from bed, and straight into the playpen from high chair. Lessons opportunities for mischief!
Then playpen time. Somewhere where he won't be distracted by activity. Starting with 5 minutes, and working up to 45-60 minutes as he plays happily. Use your happy voice, regardless of his protests: "It's playpen time! Good Boy!", and "Playpen time is over! God Boy!".
Then some morning activities - outside time, books, free floor play. You can work out the order and such.
Morning nap - perhaps try 10.30/11-12? He may not be happy, but persistence will pay off! Try giving him a drink of water before putting him to bed.
12.00 - lunch
Now, if he has had a nap in the morning, then he can have some playtime - outside, books, floor play before his next nap at around 2 - 4.
If he didn't nap in he morning (because he protesteth too much, or you were out and about etc), then pop him to bed after lunch (12.30 - 3/3.30). Some stories, a drink and a cuddle, then bed.
After his afternoon nap (around 3-4?), he can have a snack, and some floor play.
Bath at 5.00, followed by more playpen time while you cook dinner.
Dinner at around 6, followed by snuggles, story and bed around 7-7.30.
It will mean being consistent with teaching him to obey your instructions during the day ( "don't touch!", "oh dear, we don't throw tantrums, off to your cot to find your happy face" and other things like that). You can't expect him to stay in bed, if he is in control of other things during the day!
My 6 week old is so wide awake! He doesn’t like going to sleep at all, and is quite happy watching all the activity. He is very unsettled through the night, though.
Teaching a baby to sleep during the day is very important if you want him to sleep at night. When babies don’t get enough sleep, they get ‘wired’ and can’t wind down to a sleep pattern. Also, if they don’t learn to move through those sleep phases of deep and active sleep during the day, they will struggle at night.
Persistence with popping him to bed after a short waketime, and resettling until he learns to self-settle, will pay off as he gets bigger. If you don’t work on it now, it will continue to be a problem as he gets older, and you might have even more sleep issues down the track!
My baby is 3 weeks old, but he was 3 weeks early. I am having trouble keeping him up for an hour of waketime - he just keeps falling asleep. Am I doing something wrong?
Many newborns are very sleepy, and have few moments of waketime in a day. Babies born even just a few weeks early have even more trouble staying awake!
For now, your baby will probably just feed and sleep, with perhaps one or 2 times in the day that they might stay awake for a short time after a feed. But that’s ok, because in another few weeks, you will probably find he wakes up much more, and is able to have some ‘play time’ with you.
Just remember too that premmy babies really don’t cope well with too much stimulation - it tires them out, and they tend to ‘shut down’. Also, feeding is very important for them to grow and gain weight, and this is where they need to put their energy. If we keep these little ones up for too long, or use up their energy ‘playing’, they will be too tired to eat properly, and not gain weight so well.
Patience!
My baby is 13 weeks old, and I am feeding 3 1/2 - 4 hourly. All is going well, and I am keeping him up 2 hours of waketime. My problem is that he just doesn’t seem happy - is this normal?
I suspect your baby is very tired and needs much more sleep!
Even though they seem to be sleeping for so much of the day at this age, this is very normal - and necessary. Don’t worry - he will wake up in a couple of months, and you will see much more of him :)
In the meantime, a waketime of one hour is plenty - even less (around 45 minutes or so) if they are on 3 hourly feeds.
My baby is 3 months old. He was sleeping quite well at night a few weeks ago, but he is now waking several times during the night. He isn’t interested in a feed! I am feeding him between 3 and 4 hourly through the day - depending on when he wakes.
Apart from hunger issues, another common reason for babies of this age to wake in the night, after sleeping a few weeks ago, is inconsistent day routine. For some babies, the feeding pattern needs to be much more predictable than ‘between 3 and 4 hourly, depending on when he wakes’. For some babies, it needs to 3 hourly, or 4 hourly, but not an inconsistent mix between the two.
I suggest that you pick a routine (3, 3 1/2 or 4 hourly), and try very hard to stick to it as consistently as possibly for a few days, to see if that helps things at night. It will mean waking him if he is still asleep at feed time. It will mean consistent waketimes, that are not too long (45-60 minutes depending on his feed times).
It will also mean careful resettling at night - waiting 10 minutes or so to see if he settles, then going in, picking him up and resettling him, before putting him down for another 15 minutes or so, until he falls asleep. If he is still not settling after an hour or more, then feel free to feed him, and try again tomorrow night :)
My baby is 2 weeks old. He seems to be awake a lot! He isn’t settling well, and cries much of the day. What can I do?
There are several things to consider here.
Is your baby hungry? How is your attachment? Are you sure your baby is getting full feeds? If you are struggling with attachment, then it can be helpful to visit a Lactation Consultant who can observe you feeding, and see if there needs to be an adjustment made.
If you are OK with your attachment, then consider if your baby may need more feeds in his day.
If your baby doesn’t seem hungry – because he isn’t interested in added feeds, or he is gaining weight quickly, and has plenty of wet and dirty nappies, then it may help to look at his routine and sleeps.
If baby is over stimulated during his waketime, he will often struggle to ‘wind down’ to sleep. Check that the time that he is ‘up’ – ie, fed, burped, changed, cuddled – is not too long. 45 minutes or so is plenty for a newborn. Wrap him tightly, and spend a few minutes cuddling him gently to give him time to relax ready for sleep before putting him down. This does not mean cuddling him to sleep! He will do better in the long term if he can fall asleep on his own. Once he is calm, pop him into bed and give him 5 -10 minutes of fussing before picking him up to soothe and start again.
Try to avoid pacing the hallway with him – this is over stimulating, and doesn’t usually result in much beyond a tired mummy. He is better to fuss in his bed, so that he can have a go at self settling.
Patience – he will get there!
My baby 4 weeks old. He seems to have his days and night mixed up!
If your baby is happy to slumber all day, but party all night, then it is time to help him change things around. Consistently waking baby for regular 3 hourly feeds through the day, and popping him back to bed at that 45 minute (or so) mark, will help enormously. Resist the urge to let him sleep for irregular times through the day, or for as long as he wishes. Better a few days of unsettledness to get back on track, than another night of struggling to get him to sleep.
